Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
As you quickly collect yourselves, you notice all of your members appear to be okay, except for Grancis.
Off in the distance you see, cresting that hill is a soul humanoid in armor shaped as a dragon.
Let them go and leave with your lives or me and my friend will destroy you all.
I only see one of you, shouldn't be too much of a problem, do your worst!
The black dragon circling above lets loose its breath weapon behind you, blocking your exit.
Over the hill comes a plate armored blue dragon.
See Grancis raises up off the deck and lets forth many lightning bolts shoot forward into each of the creatures still left standing.
And all of those creatures drop to the ground dead.
And you see Grancis' essence scatter.
I'll always be with you. Always.
Thea finds herself a little bit more upset about Grancis than she thought she would be.
But excuse me, metal clad sir, what is your name?
My name is Sir Largardt Willowden.
The rousing banter continues for quite some time.
And you all decide to go your separate ways.
And you all set off along the trail saying your sweet goodbyes to your savior in the dragon scale armor.
And head off towards the Misty Forest back on foot as you were many moons ago.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We are a fifth edition actual play podcast and I am your dungeon master Russ More.
And with me today is Amy More.
Yeah, I love this energy.
That was me being really enthusiastically excited.
I love it. Right.
Did you watch wrestling too on the weekend?
I didn't, but I channeled my inner, I don't know, sweaty grapple.
Any wrestler name.
I also hear Tom Laird over there.
Yeah. And Carla Johnson.
Do it, Carla.
Oh, you guys are the best.
I was having a bad night and you just you guys make me so happy.
Seriously. I mean, yeah, let's do this.
That's what I mean. There it is.
All right, brothers, let's get into this.
I'll tell you what, brother.
Can you smell what Paisley just did under this desk?
Yeah. Smell like she stepped into a Slim Jim.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know that reference.
Randy Savage, Slim Jim.
Oh, yeah, Macho Man was like the the Slim Jim spokesman for a long time.
Step into a Slim Jim.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, gosh, there's so many hand movements.
That's because he's all about the hand.
I was doing the hand movements too.
I felt it. It was good.
I wish we were video Skyping.
Me too.
This comes out February 14th.
So happy birthday, Carla.
Oh, yeah. Happy birthday, Carla.
It's your birthday.
Your happy podcast birthday.
FYI, guys, I got Carla the best birthday present.
You did.
Yep.
Okay, Carla, take your headphones off.
What did you get her?
Okay, I'm going to tell you right now.
No, I'm not going to. It's going to be a surprise.
Is it a Slim Jim?
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Carla, I'm sorry.
And we've ruined her birthday.
I love it.
We're on Patreon.
Check us out over there if you like what we do
and want to find another way to support us.
We would greatly appreciate it.
Although you will get the super sweet bonus episodes if you're a patron.
There are super sweet bonus episodes,
which always get better and then decline a little bit and then get better.
That's how you appreciate the really good ones.
But Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
And you can check out all the rewards and tiers over there,
which I have been tweaking a little bit.
So there's some sweet stuff to get your hands on
for being part of our community over there.
And thank you to all of our patrons and listeners.
We love you.
Thanks, everyone.
We do love you.
I feel like I just said to Russ the other day,
like I think the people that listen to our podcast
are like probably the best people.
Seems like it.
Like we would be friends with them.
Like IRL.
Exactly.
Real cool and super nice.
Well, after we determined that it wasn't just Russ in fake mustaches.
Well, I'm 99% sure that that's true.
I was accused of that.
No, fuck it. Let's play D&D.
You've headed off from the burning city of Daggerford
with its screaming people in the building
and left the airship crashed at the side of the city
and left your new friend flying off in the other direction
and headed off towards the Misty Forest.
But you've been wandering for about a day
on the way to the Misty Forest
and you find yourself at the edge of the Misty Forest about nightfall.
Thaddeus is with you and he suggests that
maybe we should camp here for the night before we head in there
and just kind of get our wits about us.
I thought that he was taking the grungs back.
Yeah, he's there now.
So let's talk about that.
Let's talk about that.
Thaddeus said he was going to go take the grungs back,
but decided to kind of hang out
and maybe he didn't give you an exact reason why.
Thaddeus, we're really happy to have you along.
But I have to ask, where are the grungs?
The grungs are here with us.
Like in your pocket or because there's a lot of them.
Like a satchel?
As you guys are asking him about various handbag attire,
he pulls off his backpack
and pulls out a long steel cylinder
and on it, in very Granthus-like writing,
it says, grungs, good for six months.
Oh my gosh, he freeze dried them.
And he opens it up and you look inside
and there's their entire civilization.
It looks like he shrunk them a little bit smaller even
and made it so they could self-sustain
for apparently six months.
So I thought being that you guys are going into
a bit of what could be a hairy situation,
maybe I tag along.
And he screws the top back on the lid
and puts it back in his bag.
Sounds like a pretty good plan.
We'd love to have you with us.
Can anyone else imagine the grungs to be like,
The sun!
And then he covers it back up and they're like, oh.
Well, thank you, thank you, yes.
And he goes about help setting up the fire
and tents and bedrolls and everything.
What are you guys doing?
I'll probably go look for food.
I guess we probably took some good supplies
from our crashed ship,
but you know, we're in the woods
and that's like, I'm in my element.
So I'm gonna go, I don't know,
like not far from camp,
but see if I can like,
rustle up a rabbit or something
for us to eat over our fire.
Do we need firewood?
Cause I've got a perfectly good ax for chopping.
You can certainly chop some firewood.
Thea, what are you doing?
Thea pops a squat next to the old fire there
and pulls out a joint and lights her up.
And does as Thea do.
Does as Thea do.
And she looks over to Thaddeus
and she gestures like, hmm?
And he says, no, no, thanks.
I'm good.
But you could be better.
First taste is free.
All in the eye of the beholder, I guess.
I'm okay for right now, thank you.
Nulara, you go off into the woods
and it's getting dark,
but you go a little ways off the path.
Make an investigation.
80.
It doesn't take you long
before you go into the woods
and you hear what sounds like a boar.
Not too far off the path.
As you are well versed in the forest,
you very stealthily sneak through the trees
and come up behind about 20 yards out
from a full grown boar.
Those are very dangerous.
I mean, at least in the human world.
I don't know about in the D&D world.
Tell me, is it really dangerous?
Am I scared?
No, no, you know, it's got two big tusks.
So you know exactly what's going on with this boar
and how best to take it down if you so desired.
I probably don't.
We don't have any way to preserve food.
It would be wasteful to kill an animal that large
when we couldn't eat it all before it would go bad.
I don't think I would want to.
I'm looking for one meal's worth of food.
Yeah.
Like a bird or a rabbit or something.
Sure.
You back off of the boar and quietly move away from it.
Make another, just roll a d20 for me.
I will.
I rolled a two.
So I think it's probably going to decide to kill me now.
The boar follows you and recognizes you from its dark past.
You killed its mother.
Oh, no.
I didn't add anything to that too,
but I'm sure it doesn't matter.
That's fine.
So you, yeah, you come across on your,
as you're walking through,
I'll give you a couple things that you see
and you can determine what you would stop
and try to take down.
You see a deer.
There are a couple owls up in the trees
and you also see a few rabbits running around.
Okay, definitely a rabbit.
Deer, two big owls.
That seems fucked up for some reason.
You come back with an owl.
Guacamole will probably eat you.
Guacamole will not give me a ride next time.
Also, they all just came from their university
graduation ceremony, I assume.
They have their caps on.
So rabbit it is.
How about a rabbit?
Sure, just make a,
what are you using to take it down?
Oh, did you mean a skill or item?
Either or.
Are you using your hands
or are you using a weapon of some sort?
Oh my God, I'd love to watch someone
try to catch a rabbit with their hands.
There are going to be a couple more checks
if that happens.
I guess I have a light crossbow.
So sure, let's give that a shot.
I'm not going to flame sort it.
And it's cooked now too.
Pre-cooked, yeah.
Exactly.
It's convenience food.
So I just rolled a nat 20 on rabbit hunting.
Of course you did.
Tell me how you skillfully murder this rabbit.
I take one shot and it hits it
in exactly the right place to kill it instantly
so it feels no pain.
Then I go collect it,
say a brief prayer of thanks to the rabbit
for giving its life so we could eat
and then I collect it and take it back to camp.
New Laura's got mad respect for nature.
Clint, you're going to chop down some wood?
Yes, sir.
All right.
Well, there's lots of trees.
So are you going for a big tree, a little tree?
What kind of tree are you going for here?
I'm going to go for a medium plus size of tree.
All right.
Give me give me a strength check
to see how quickly you take down this piece of...
That is a 21.
Best rolls we've ever had.
We're fucking catching dinner
and chopping down firewood.
It takes you a couple of swings,
but yeah, you fell this tree
and chop up what you need there
and bring it back to the fire
where Thea and Thaddeus are just sitting, waiting.
He hops up and he says,
oh, good, the firewood.
I'll get started on the fire.
So Thaddeus goes and starts up the fire.
Are we all back here now?
Yeah, everybody's back.
I look at New Laura and I go,
only one rabbit has a munchies.
You'll be fine.
We have lots of other supplies from the airship.
Fair enough, fair enough.
I pass her a bag of Cheezys.
That's what rations means.
I get that.
Cheesy poofs.
I look at them and go,
I wish they were Cheetos.
So yeah, Thaddeus goes and he starts the fire
and everything gets cooking there.
So wait, Thaddeus started the fire?
I don't know.
He hopped up because he was tired of sitting
in awkward silence with Thea
and came over and grabbed some wood for a meal.
Well, we didn't start the fire.
But was it always burning since the world was turning?
Thank you, Amy.
Thank you for fighting along with me.
You're welcome.
I totally caught on.
Wait, Thaddeus started.
I was like, well, we didn't start the fire.
And he is...
Just moving along.
Everybody's sitting around and Thaddeus pipes up
and he says, so...
How long have you guys been around with Grancis?
It seems like forever.
You know, Grancis is one of those guys.
It just it doesn't matter how long you're with him.
It just seems like eternity.
And then God rests his soul.
Then it's gone all too fast, isn't it?
Yeah, a little bit.
Thea gets a little nostalgic.
She's like, remember that time?
He served us mashed potatoes and we all shrunk.
Oh, I do remember that.
Boy, do I.
What a fun adventure that was.
Yeah, he had a knack for messing up spells, didn't he?
Well, sure saved our ass at the end.
Yeah, he did.
And the airship came in really handy a lot of times.
He was a good guy.
We weren't with him too long.
And even in the time we knew him, we didn't spend a lot of time with him.
He kind of just picked us up and shuttled us around.
And that's mostly it, except for that whole mashed potato grung thing.
Well, I spent some more time with Grancis.
We had a bit of a falling out.
But yeah, we traveled a lot back, well, when I was more your ages of sorts.
We had a team of adventurers, you could say, who went on missions not unlike yourself.
Not quite to the scale that you guys are doing here with the world saving.
But I remember a time we were in the thick of a large battle with some goblins.
We were supposed to go stop this tribe of goblins from wrecking this little civilization,
this little settlement that was having problems with them.
It was supposed to be an easy in-for-some-out job, that sort of thing.
But their colony was much bigger than what we had been led on.
We found ourselves with our backs against the wall, and then out of nowhere,
Grancis remembers that he can polymorph things.
And he polymorphed our fighter.
What was his name?
Romaine Broadsword.
Polymorphed him into a T-Rex, just right there.
Should have seen the look on those goblins' faces.
So awesome.
A T-Rex, you say?
Yeah.
Um...
I have a little question.
Yeah.
Now, we know that Grancis could do some awesome stuff.
Of course.
And he always had the best intentions.
Mm-hmm.
Did...
Did Mr. Broadsword ever make it back to his original form?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I was wondering the exact same thing.
We met a cool T-Rex, and I thought, it's a pretty small world.
It'd be pretty crazy if that T-Rex I made friends with
was actually Grancis' old friend that he didn't morph back.
No, yeah, I mean, he morphed back pretty soon after that.
I mean, what happened between polymorphings later?
I mean, I suppose anything is possible, but no, no.
Romaine, he turned back, just as you do,
after a polymorph spell, and he...
Yeah, he told that story a lot.
And was it just the three of you,
or was there other adventurers in your group?
No, we had a...
We had a team of eight of us.
Whoa. That's a lot. That's a lot.
Yeah.
You know, strength in numbers, as they say.
But yeah, we had a well-versed crew
who went out a lot of the time.
You guys ever fight a dragon?
Yeah, we fought a dragon before.
Did you win?
Well, we got away.
Hey, nothing's wrong with the win.
Not dying. It's the win in my column.
Yeah, I hear you guys have been going up against some dragons.
Well, obviously we have, because that was yesterday.
Well, yeah.
But others as well.
Thought you might have some hot tips,
some hot dragon-killing tips, but guess not.
Don't use your things that require saving throws.
Or just use lesser things with saving throws
and save your big stuff to the end.
Solid advice.
What's a saving throw, I mean?
I don't know.
A flash of things.
Some divine inspiration.
He says, oh, God, sorry, and fixes her top.
So...
Hasn't been a boob or a dick joke yet.
Yeah, it's true, and we're really far in, so it was good.
He needed to get it.
Thaddeus, how long do you think you're going to stay with us?
Do you have a plan, or are you just going to see how it goes?
No plan.
I mean, I came with you guys to help Grancis with the grungs,
but it seems that, you know,
our path has taken us, brought us together
for what's to come in this dragon,
cult of the dragon battle that we have going on here,
so I'll stick with you until it seems that I should go somewhere else.
What, uh...
Or you have enough with me.
Hey, if we could keep Grancis around for as long as we did.
I think you're all right.
Speaking of Grancis, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to
because I'm just being snoopy,
but why do you guys have a falling out?
No, it's fine, it's fine.
We, um...
We were on another job.
This was, I don't know, 30 years ago or so.
And...
It wasn't looking good for us.
And Grancis, in his all, in his haste,
miscast a spell, a lightning bolt spell,
and it instead targeted our team
as well as the foes we were fighting.
It was a group of orcs and bugbears,
and they...
I was the only one that survived.
And after that, I just couldn't trust them anymore.
Well, that's reasonable.
That seems...
Well, first of all, terrible, I'm sorry,
but that is certainly a thing to end a friendship over.
But then you decided to help him with the grungs anyway?
I guess it had been a long time, but...
It had been a long time, and I'm a man of faith.
I've been holding back a lot of resentment towards him,
and I didn't want that to hold me back and to hold him back,
because I felt having that possible connection
could have propelled him back into what he could be.
So I took a chance.
He begins to get a little choked up,
and he says,
Well, it's getting late. I'll pack it in here.
You just wake me up when it's my turn for watch.
And he goes to his little tent
and lies down in the bedroll he has laid out there.
What do you guys do?
Probably the same, or else we just decide on watches and go to sleep.
Want to see you guys got any marshmallows?
You want to make some s'mores?
Theo wishes she had marshmallows.
I'll take first watch.
No, you did not.
If I fall asleep now, man, I'm not getting up.
That's true. You're all high and shit still.
All right, I'll take second watch then.
As you guys are determining watches,
some smoke comes off of the fire,
and it kind of hovers there for a minute.
You hear an eerie...
I say, Did anyone else hear that?
I look at my joint and I'm like...
You guys hear that?
How strong is that stuff, Theo?
I feel like it's affecting me.
I don't think it's this.
Grancis?
Oh, you can hear me.
Yeah.
What's up, G-man?
The smoke swirls into not a material form,
but more of a ghostly apparition of Grancis.
He says, Oh, I've been kind of hanging out
following you guys for a little while.
Must have been on ghosts and wind and stuff.
Maybe that just stopped it.
Anyways, thank you for saying all those nice things about me.
The mashed potatoes, they were really good.
You didn't mention the pancakes.
Those pancakes, man, they were legendary.
I was thinking about them.
Yeah, no, it appears.
Ghosts sometimes get locked to things
and then they can't leave.
I'm pretty sure I'm locked to the grungs.
Do you want us to tell Thaddeus
and get him to return them right away?
You think you've got to get them back home?
Don't tell Thaddeus that,
because he'll just want to...
You know, they're good for six months.
I packed them full of seeds and stuff down there
and they should be fine.
I think he really needs to be with you guys.
I'll just kind of hang out.
Grancis, what is the afterlife like?
Right now it's...
There was a bright light.
And then it's hard to keep myself together.
Did you go toward the bright light?
Yeah, and then it's just there.
I still see it.
And he points over your shoulder.
And you try going towards it.
Yeah, and I keep getting drawn.
It's like I'm walking
and he's moving his arms,
but he has no legs.
They're kind of the willy-willy wisp.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Do you see other ghosts?
Thea has a lot of questions.
I know, me too.
This is amazing.
We're building the whole afterlife right now.
This is creating a world of fantasy.
Are we surrounded by spirits we just can't see?
I mean, there's some spirits everywhere.
You should have known that.
You're tapped into the nature of the...
everywhere.
How are your senses?
Do they still function the same way?
You know, I...
No.
No, I can see everything.
I can hear...
Sometimes things get a little muddied
with the hearing.
It's like there's a barrier between
where the ghosts kind of hang out
and the spirits kind of hang out,
and sometimes you can kind of sneak through
and pop through like I'm doing right now.
But, you know,
I can't really hold anything to taste it.
I haven't figured that part out yet.
I've got to find someone to talk to back here.
Do you have friends?
I mean, I've been dead for less than 24 hours,
so it's tough to make friends right away.
Yeah, it would be for you.
Yeah.
Thea says it really sincerely.
That was out of game laughter.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, totally. That was out of game laughter.
That was Carla laughing at Amy being hilarious,
not new Laura laughing at Thea.
No, I think it's being really earnest.
Like, yeah, you're a handful, man.
Like, yeah, you're going to need more than 24 hours there, buddy.
Yeah, no, I get it.
And, you know, hopefully sometime fall goes to plan.
I'll be able to be able to reach that light at the end there,
and maybe I'll see some friends.
So you haven't got any like great knowledge
that you could share with us
that you didn't have before you passed.
Yeah, can you read our minds?
Thea starts thinking real hard about stuff.
Big bag of dicks.
No, I agree.
Now is it like a tote bag?
Is it like a plastic shopping bag?
Like, what are we going with here?
Oh, no.
No, I'm getting a visual of you and a dragon
thinking of a big bag of dicks.
Oh, I must be able to see the future or past or something.
Hmm, that's weird.
No, I don't have any great ideas for you right now,
but I feel like that I've become this plot device
that if something needs to be said, it can be said.
Self-righteous of you.
Oh, you know, I'm Francis.
But yeah, if I find anything out,
I'll gladly let you know.
Come up with some questions.
I'll see if I can figure them out.
We were just going to like go to sleep now.
Is there anything we can do for you?
No, no, I just want to touch base.
I'm going to go see what's going on behind the muffly part
of where the rest of the spirits are.
I see what's going on there.
I'll just, you know, if you think you need me,
just don't tell Thaddeus that I'm here
because he'll try.
He doesn't like spirits hanging in limbo.
He likes to move things along.
Just, you know, do your business, OK?
Is there any way we can contact you?
Or do we just have to wait till you pop back
into our fire smoke?
Oh, I think you just got to wait until I pop back
and he pops away.
OK.
All right, well.
You guys.
Hey.
Wow, that's a thing, hey?
Just when you think.
He's gone for good.
Yeah, it's again just night and you guys are...
Thaddeus stays up.
I'm leaning against a log.
I've put away my joint because I am on watch.
Yeah, no.
I take it seriously.
Everybody goes through the night and watch is totally fine.
Cool.
You get up with the sun the next day
and Thaddeus is the last one to take
the last little bit of watch.
And everybody's packing up
and getting ready to move on from the camp.
Perfect.
And head into that misty forest.
Well, I was hoping we'd be moving on up
to that deluxe apartment in the sky.
Well, eventually.
That's where Grancis should be heading,
but apparently not.
Yeah.
Thaddeus says, Grancis, what?
You know when people leave you,
but you just don't feel like they've left?
Grancis was that kind of presence, you know?
Yeah.
Yep, I know that.
Also, I saved a couple pancakes
that he made there in my pack.
It's like he's always with me.
How old are those pancakes?
Hard to say.
And Thea kind of trudges off to the forest.
He put that same stuff on it that he put on the grungs,
so it was good for six months.
Oh, I guess that makes sense.
All right.
So you guys start trekking into the misty forest.
So you know there are different elven settlements
within the misty forest.
Do I know any of those elven settlements?
Do I have family anywhere?
I don't know.
Where is your family from, Thea?
Oh, no.
Don't look at your character sheet,
because you guys never came up with family backstories.
I wasn't looking for my kids.
Karla came up with the fact that she has six brothers,
but nothing about anybody's parents or lineage.
I don't even remember that.
I can't remember.
I can't.
I can't be held responsible
by any kind of saying game.
So everybody's homework for next week.
Pick a point on the map where your species comes from
and come up with where you come from.
OK, good, because I can't do that right now.
Today's not the day.
No, I said before next week.
I know.
Yeah, and you're going to need to text us that,
because I will forget as soon as we stop recording.
Oh, motherfucker.
Yep, got it.
I'm going to go put it in my calendar.
OK.
So yeah, you guys start heading along a path of sorts.
And it comes to a clearing that has a large boulder in the center of it
and splits into two paths,
one more towards the north
and one more towards the south.
Anybody got a preference here?
How south sound everyone?
Good.
Sounds good.
Good decisiveness, Flint.
I like it.
I think we should just walk until we reach a settlement.
I'm sure the Elven villages talk to one another.
If things are going down with Nerenvane,
they're all bound to know about it and give us some sort of information.
Seems plausible.
I agree.
We got to find some people and find out what's going on here.
So yeah, you guys turn south and you carry on for a little ways
and you travel for a few hours and you come to what looks like a small settlement.
It's very quiet, though.
It doesn't look like there's any people or anything in there.
Thea calls out.
Hello?
Is anyone here?
No answer.
And what do we see?
Just like a few huts or...?
Yep.
There's a few wooden huts of sort.
Everybody make a...
I assume you're looking around and stuff.
So make an investigation check.
A nat 20.
No, why are we rolling so well for shitty thing?
Well, I got a three, so I just...
Yeah, six.
Okay, I see stuff.
You guys are picking your noses.
Nularaaaa and Flint are a little more in the lead
and they're kind of looking around at the huts, kind of peering in.
It looks like there's been a scuffle in there of sorts,
but then Thea and Thaddeus come up behind them
and just grab their head and point it up.
And you look up and everybody sees a second level to this settlement,
which is a treetop settlement.
And you see pulley systems that look like they lead down.
But again, there's nobody that you can see walking along any of the gang planks.
There's nobody through any of the windows that you can see
or the openings that you can see.
It looks like this settlement has been abandoned of sorts.
I call up.
Hello, my name is Thea Amastasia.
Is anybody up there?
We've come to help.
You call a couple times and you hear a...
Everybody's looking around up.
And you hear a growl come from behind you.
I spin around.
You are about 15 feet from a large, snarling winter wolf.
It doesn't look like it's making a move to attack you,
but it doesn't look like it's friendly at the moment.
Can I do an animal handling roll?
Do it!
I don't even know what that means, but I never get to...
Handle that animal, girl!
Oh, God.
I threw it. I got to try again.
You were so excited.
I was. I was so excited because I always try and do this to something
that's clearly attacking us and it does not work, of course.
It's like on top of you. You're like, animal handling.
You can do it with advantage if you want there.
That's okay. I had a good roll.
I have a plus six, so I'm pretty good at it anyway.
I had a 17.
I'm like, hey, puppy.
You know, general dog chit chat like you do.
Sure.
You step between Thea and the winter wolf,
and you're trying to calm it down.
It seems to soften in its face
and kind of give you a little bit of a confused look,
but it stops snarling at you.
Like the dog head tilt?
Yeah.
I mean, I lean over.
I lean over Nularaaa's shoulder and I whisper in her ear,
if you talk to me like that when I'm a dog, I'll bite you.
Hey, good idea.
If you turn into a dog, can you talk to that dog?
We can talk to that dog.
Hello, are you a person in there?
I say it in Elvis.
The winter wolf doesn't say anything,
and you hear from behind it come through the trees,
a bellowing gruff voice that you've heard before,
calling, Laska, Laska, come back.
And Delaine Winterhound comes out and says,
there you guys are.
Hey, Delaine.
What's up?
How are you?
Our airship crashed.
It was kind of bad.
I'm glad we ran into you.
Well, hello.
I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
Thank you for joining us for episode 32 of Dumbgeons and Dragons,
titled, Fireside Reflection.
It was a nice episode that I feel gave Tom,
Carl, and Amy a chance to practice some NPC chat
and continue treating NPCs as real people
who have their own story to tell.
Quick thing before we get into this business,
go check out a new podcast called,
Tales from the Five Nations.
It's an actual play podcast in the Eberron setting,
using the Savage World system,
and it is super fun and very well done.
It's put together by David Ginsburg,
who is the creator of Tales from the Fandom
and longtime friend of the podcast.
I'm going to link it in the description below.
Go check them out and show them some love.
I think you're really going to enjoy it.
We just announced that we will be starting
a monthly live stream hangout in March
for explorer and adventurer level patrons.
Big things are happening over there,
and we want you to join us.
If you're new to the Dumb Dragon community,
just in general,
or if you've never done so before,
something that really also helps every podcast
is dropping a five-star rating in review
for the podcasts you love on Apple Podcasts
or Stitcher or Podknife
is another place you can do that.
All of our social media links
can be found at dumbdragons.com.
And, oh, we just started
a new Dumbgeons and Dragons group on Facebook.
Not a page, we have a page still,
but as well a group.
Link is in the description,
where we have a small but growing community
of people who love to talk about the show
and D&D in general.
So come on over, share your stories,
share your ideas, and check us out there.
The next episode will be out February 28th,
when we will be joined for a super fun episode
by Michael and Kyle from American Gods Cast.
Let's see what's happening back at Fireside though.
Oh, and don't forget to send Carla
some birthday wishes.
She won't tell you,
but she really does love them.
Have a great couple weeks.
We'll talk to you soon.
Yeah, it seems like nothing really good
has been going on anywhere.
My reports clearly have been right,
and King Melandrich is full of shit.
That's why his eyes are brown.
You noticed that, did you?
Yeah, pretty clear.
So you've met Laska?
Laska says, hey, what's up?
What's up, Laska?
I was just gonna try and bite your face off,
but you gave me the whole good puppy thing,
and it felt kind of nice.
It felt kind of nice.
So I just thought you didn't want to do any harm.
Hey, appreciate it.
Totally appreciate it.
Hey, Delaine, what have you learned?
We've only been here overnight.
Well, I've been through a couple settlements like this.
This one looks like they may have got warning
before attacks came,
but the last one that I was at is a slaughter.
Were you coming from the south, right?
No, he's coming from the north.
Coming from the north, okay.
Waterdeep is from your current location.
Sorry, I'm having a trouble.
From your current location,
Waterdeep is north and west towards the coast.
Okay.
So you're very close.
Misty Forest is on the other side of the serpent hills
from where you were when you were hunting for ram.
Just if you're trying to plot it out on a map there.
This is the first settlement we've come across.
The others are looking worse?
Yeah, the other one that I went to,
there were no survivors left.
Everyone was killed by what looks like a dragon attack or sword.
So it leads me to believe that cult attacks are happening
and they have a dragon,
which does not bode well.
We have actually seen that dragon.
You have?
Yes.
Just yesterday.
Which dragon?
Big black dragon.
Yeah, that one.
That's more disturbing because reports from my agents
from the Emerald Enclave state that a green dragon
has been seen in the area.
So there's more than one.
Well, yes.
I mean, we're fighting the cult of the dragon, but...
The cult of the dragon?
Now there's two?
They're going to need to rename.
That's fair.
They also report that there is a settlement
in the Misty Forest that is still standing
and that may be the best place to start.
That city is Altend.
I can give you directions.
I'm supposed to meet up with some other agents
and I can come meet you after I'm done with that.
The latest reports have them holding their ground right now,
so everybody who may have fled from any of these other settlements
might be there as well,
and they may have reports that might help us.
How far away is that settlement?
It may take you a day to get there.
Okay, I guess.
Point us in the right direction.
We need a destination,
and that sounds like a good place to start
figuring out what's going on and where Narenvain is
and, you know, hack if he's evil or not.
You know, just run out of the millstone.
Or hack.
Yeah, absolutely.
And he gives you directions.
He says most of the way there is path,
which it looks like you've been following
one of the paths from the edge of the forest,
but you will have to cut through some area
where there's not.
So are you guys okay going through the forest?
Well, this is my preferred terrain.
Wonderful. Mine as well.
Or something like that.
Favored terrain. There we go.
All right.
Well, as long as you guys think you can make it okay,
he gives you directions and he says,
I will meet up with you.
I should be only about half a day behind you
once I get to where I need to be.
Sounds good.
And he calls for Laska,
and they head off back into the forest.
I guess we head in that direction, I assume.
Yeah?
Yeah, friends?
Yes.
So you've been traveling for most of the morning now,
and you walk along the path,
and you get to the point where he said
it turns from path to just open brush,
and you start heading in there,
and you feel, after walking a little while,
you get the sense that something's been following you,
Nulara and Nulara especially.
You see out of the corner of your eye
flashes of different color,
something small, not something large,
and you hear almost faint laughter
coming through the trees.
Okay, I'm going to do a...
Sorry, I had to find the book to...
because I actually wanted to see
what favored terrain got me,
so I'm going to do some good stuff.
So I guess we'll do a perception check
to see if I have an idea of what is,
I don't know, following us,
or what makes that sound,
or the light flashes, or whatever,
just to see if I can figure out what that's all about.
Sure.
And my proficiency bonus is doubled,
because I'm amazing at this.
I'm going to proceed with the shit out of this.
29? I got a 29.
Do you alert anybody to what you're doing,
or do you stop?
What are you doing when you do this?
Yeah, I think so.
Probably just kind of like slow down
and do the classic SWAT team maneuver,
like hold up a hand, like wait.
I mean, there's only four of us.
It shouldn't be that hard to get their attention.
Thea gives you a big thumbs up.
Yeah.
And I kind of just do what that winter wolf did
and like cock my head and listen
and try and figure out what's going on.
You hear, you listen for a little while,
and it seems like everything is, the noise has stopped.
And then you hear a snap of a twig off to your right.
And you look, and there's like a rustling brush,
but you can't see an animal,
and you can't quite figure out at first
what would be making the sound.
Who goes there?
I don't think I just wait and let something follow us.
I need to know. Drive me crazy.
You hear kind of a giggling laughter,
two giggling laughters coming from the brush,
and it's moving around a little bit more.
Show yourselves.
The rustling stops,
and you see slowly coming up from behind this bush,
small antlers, and then what looks like a human face,
big smiling, two of them.
And they look like almost bearded sprites
with huge, for their size,
antlers on top of their heads.
And they say, hi.
Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
Why do Google Hangouts change their name from G-Chat to Google Hangouts?
You know how easy it is to say G-Chat?
Real easy.
You know how irritating it is to say Google Hangouts?
It's a lot more simple.
Just say Gook Hangs.
Just Gook Hangs.
You guys got some Gook Hangs?
Oh, those sweet Gook Hangs.
You can change your mind.
And if you change your mind.
I'm the next in line.
Yes.
I didn't know the lyrics or I would have jumped right into it.
I'd have pretty good chuckle when Russ Pride Grants is back.
I'll be perfectly honest.
One thing you should know is Grants is my pride and joy.
He was supposed to be the greatest NPC of all time.
I think he is.
He's certainly the one we've had the most feelings about.
Oh, yes.
That's true.
Yeah, the most interactions.
All those feelings.
I'm sorry.
Is anyone else picturing Thaddeus like Sam Elliott?
Yeah, I could see that.
I am now.
That is exactly it.
Because he's an older gentleman, a little rougher on the edges.
Yeah, in my head he's Sam Elliott.
I like it.
Perfect.
If anyone knows Sam Elliott and he wants to guest star on our podcast, please make that happen.
Who are you talking to?
Anyone listening.
Listeners?
Oh, anyone.
Anyone.
You're more than welcome to if you know Sam Elliott, but I was more so talking to our listeners.
I don't know if Sam Elliott tweets, so I probably don't have like a tweet venue.
And you know, I only have two more favors with him.
That is the question.
I mean, that's all we really need is the mustache to come on.
Wait, how many favors did you have originally?
Four.
What did you use the first two on?
No kidding.
Can't say.
Oh, wow.
Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.